I guess it’s always a case of, ‘Be careful for what you wish for’, albeit with a slight twist.

Coming back from buying my lunch, I decided to sit in the communal dining table. I sat down, and started to eat my food; for some reason I decided to buy a salad, and I still don’t know why. Anyhow, someone on the table started chatting to me. I just wanted to have my lunch, but I was obliging, making as much small talk I thought was necessary to grease the wheels, but not more than I had to as I didn’t want to give the impression that I was really interested in talking.

A work colleague decided to sit down with me not long after. And to my surprise, she leaned over and said, ‘That guy you were talking with, was ogling you for a long time before you sat down’.

Gulp.

As I stand there in the mirror, all I can think to myself is, what a great feeling it is to have. Thinking that I’m in control, gives me the greatest feeling. To know that I have started it, and to think that I could stop it, in itself is enjoyable. Once I get a little urge, it’s very hard for me not to complete what I’ve set out to do.

I don’t know what it is, but when I see the pins go in and out, a little excitement, comes over me.

I love getting my clothes altered.

But like all plans in my life, they don’t go accordingly. You would think that I would be posting more regularly, daily even. And I did that for a while. But most of late, I’ve been a bit slack. Even if there has been something that I’ve been meaning to post. Life has just been getting in the way. That or I’m a lazy prick. One way or the other, I’m not posting as much as I would like to.

Maybe it means that I’m getting happier with life. Being more content with it, that I don’t need to post rants and vents up. I would like to think that, that’s the case. But why is there this pitch darkness that consumes me at every corner?

Well I’m here to say that I’m on the other side. I’m the one drip feeding you my bullshit.

I think it’s funny sometimes that something I say, gets blown up. Like the little in joke, that no longer is an ‘in’ joke, and it becomes a running gag that everyone is in on. Most of the time I do or say something, because I know it will get a reaction. But it’s just an act. And for some reason, I’m surprised no one picks up on that fact.

People use these ‘acts’, and think that they know me. They think that they have me pegged, like I’m a 2 dimensional character, that doesn’t have any nuances or any room for development. They talk to me, and talk about me, like they know every facet of who I am, and what I’m all about. The fact of the matter is, they don’t.

I remember a high school friend that blew up at some one, because she said that she knew him, and he was acting out of character. I was on his side. He wasn’t acting out of character; the fact of the matter is that the girl that made that statement had no idea of him; I thought I was good friends with him, but I would have never gone as far as to say that I knew him, back to front, inside and out – I would never make a statement like that, only because that’s the biggest assumption that one could make.

It’s quite irritating when someone wants to over-familiarise your relationship with them. It’s like when the guy says to the girl that he loves her, but she was only looking for companionship. The overstretch is embarrassing.

Anyhow, apparently this movie is based of the events of a real life story. A married couple get into an accident, and the wife, played by Rachel McAdams loses her memory. The husband, played by Channing Tatum takes care of her, and tries to help her remember the life she now forgets. It’s some what a cliche romance story, but I guess since it’s based on an actual instance of it happening, rather than some story being dredged out of the Hollywood movie making machine, I thought I would give it a go. But really, Rachael McAdams… I didn’t need much more motivation to go see it, than that.

I wasn’t sold on Channing Tatum, given that the other movie that I saw him in, Dear John, really didn’t do anything for me. Maybe it’s the fault of the story, but I was quite apprehensive of watching Channing again in a romance drama flick. But to my surprise I was impressed; I even shed a few tears during the film – it’s been a long time since I shed a tear in the cinemas.

To be fair though, I think most of it had to do with Rachel McAdams, and the whole situation. Trying to make your partner remember the love you have, even though she doesn’t even know who you are. Worse yet, all she remembers is a distant life she left a long time ago, so much so, that seeing the “old” her makes you think why you fell in love with her in the first place.

The chemistry in this movie is pretty decent. I mean it’s no Gosling and McAdams level of chemistry, but it’s enough to carry the movie across the line. If you like romance movies, then it’s probably a goer. If you want to see Tatum taute cheeks, then it’s a definite.

I can understand that some people may look like someone else, like how Gary Busey somewhat looks like Nick Nolte or how Zooey Deschanel kind of looks like Katy Perry, but I have never gotten them mixed up. But why is it that Caucasians can’t seem to tell the difference between Asians; maybe I’m being far to generalist. I mean it didn’t happen before I started this new role, nor has it happened in my working career prior to this, but in the past two weeks, it has.

I wonder if it really is a race thing, and we all think that at least someone in one race, can look like another of the same race; it surely can’t be case of them mistaking one person for every other person of the same race, can it?

It’s worked for me in the past, but I don’t know if that reasoning is applicable as time goes on. The more and more I act this way, the more and more I make lewd and crude comments, the more and more I become the caricature, rather that fronting as one. Sometimes I feel the need to act that way, and that’s how I am for the rest of the night.

It’s funny, it all started a while back, and it was just for laughs, but it feels like it’s a crutch these days, and without it, I can’t get around. In someways it feels like it’s a case of Batman and Bruce Wayne. Yes… indulge me for a second. In the beginning, it was a case of Bruce Wayne donning a mask to fight injustice, and bring down fear and retribution against those that do no good, in the guise of Batman. But as time goes on, it’s become Batman taking off the mask to act like a billionaire playboy in the guise of Bruce Wayne. At first it was an outlet, only now it has consumed.

What a sad state of affairs it’s become.

I immediately look up, and I realise it’s a feminine’s voice. I look at her face, and judge her immediately. I’m not going to lie, I judge everything that I see; most times I don’t share my judgement with the rest of the world, but I judge. And I approve. She seems classy – I know it’s probably an incorrect assessment, with the feelings of infatuation clouding my judgement and eyesight. But for the time that I look at her, I approve, and I go back for some more, like a crack addict looking for the next hit.

I stop my iPod. I’m intrigued.

Surprisingly though, I was more drawn to her voice, and what she is saying. From what I could surmise she was talking about work. In most instances I don’t like talking about work, or listening to others talk about work, unless there’s a drama that’s unfolding, because I’ll be honest, I thrive on drama. But there was none of that. She was just recounting the difficulties she’s having, relearning how to do things, trying to break away from the bad habits learned from her previous employ.

I don’t know what it was, maybe it was her voice, or even the facial expressions that she was making, as she was talking, but I was entranced. I literally have never been that focused on what a feminine was saying, when it was relating to work. Maybe it was the choice of words that she was using to articulate the finer things of the issues being encountered. Maybe it was the inflections of her voice as she spoke that were mesmerising. Maybe it was the deep introspection that really drew me into her, as a person first and foremost; someone so critical of them self and self aware – it’s an endearing and attractive quality.

For rest of the train trip, there I sat, with my earphones in – with the iPod off. Sitting there feigning that I was listening to my music, but in reality eavesdropping, and absorbing everything she was saying. I tired to contain the fact that I was listening in on her conversation, but it was hard to hide the fact, because I looked her way every few minutes.

You might think I’m a creep. And you’re probably right. You might think I’m a soft cock for not asking her out. And you’re probably right. You might think I’m crazy leaving my earphones on with out music playing. And you’re probably right. But I don’t care about any of it – I am mesmerised.

When I left my most recent employer, I was quite certain that I was going to leave like the wind. The reasoning behind this is the fact that I think everyone comes and goes; sure we would like some to stay more than others, but in the end, we come and we go – nothing is permanent. I am just another cog in the machine, one that’s readily replaceable. So I was not going to leave an email, or my details to contact me.

But once I made this known, people were giving me grief. They were wanting me to leave my details so they could catch up with me in the future. So stupidly I wrote an email, and provided my details. It’s been four weeks since I wrote that…. and not one peep, other than from me.

Why does it always seem to go that people say they want to catch up with you, but they never end up doing so. Is it just something you say, because it’s just something you say? Like how you ask how someone is going, but you really don’t care how they’re going; it’s just something you say.

I haven’t received an email, or even a text to confirm my details, or even someone else giving me their details via those methods. Now don’t get me wrong, I really don’t care if I do or don’t keep in touch with most of these people. I’m more annoyed by the fact that I have gestured that I care, and now I have been effectively been slapped in the face.

This world is a game of who can care the less, and I’m currently losing, when really I should be the victor.

If you haven’t seen anything about this movie, I wouldn’t blame you. I don’t think I’ve seen much advertising for this movie, other than the trailer that my friend had forwarded onto me. I guess that’s the problem of not watching a lot of television these days; you’re not bombarded by ads to see movies. Having said that though, I don’t think I’ve seen a lot of street advertising either, probably because the budget for this movie was so low, there wasn’t much left for the marketing of it.

Anyhow, I was impressed by the whole movie. Sure there are some shortcomings of it, but overall I was really impressed of how the movie progressed. The movie is about a bunch of teenagers acquiring telekinetic powers, and seeing how they deal with them. I found most of the movie quite grounded, because rather than the teenagers helping the greater good, they use it to play practical jokes, and for kicks; let’s be honest, how many of you would be responsible with your new found powers?

Some of the special effects were a bit shoddy, but for the most part, it was done quite well – towards the end of the movie where their powers are being used to the full extent, really showcased what you could do on a limited budget, in terms of special effects.

The acting in this movie was quite phenomenal. I don’t think I’ve seen any of these actors anywhere before, and that’s probably what added to the charm and excitement of the movie. Sometimes unknown actors really get you involved with the movie itself, because you’re not starstruck with the big name celebrities. Sometimes I think big movie studios take the easy way out, with using big name movie stars, to compensate for a weak movie.

I must warn you that the movie is shot something like the Blair Witch Project; some of it is handy cam, while others is from a CCTV camera.

If you like superheroes, teenage coming of age movies, or Akira, yep Akira, the Japanese manga and anime, then you have to watch this movie. If you’re an emo, you have to watch this movie. It’s a great spectacle; plus it makes you think what you would do in that situation.