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Category Archives: Rants

The Piece Of Meat

05 Apr

I’ve always wanted to be eyed out by a femme, and be treated like a piece of meat. For once I would like to be used and abused, just for my appearance by a smoking hot feminine; is that too much to ask? I would love it if I were to walk down the street, and get wolf whistled by cougars wanting to have a bit of fun. Is that too much to ask?

I guess it’s always a case of, ‘Be careful for what you wish for’, albeit with a slight twist.

Coming back from buying my lunch, I decided to sit in the communal dining table. I sat down, and started to eat my food; for some reason I decided to buy a salad, and I still don’t know why. Anyhow, someone on the table started chatting to me. I just wanted to have my lunch, but I was obliging, making as much small talk I thought was necessary to grease the wheels, but not more than I had to as I didn’t want to give the impression that I was really interested in talking.

A work colleague decided to sit down with me not long after. And to my surprise, she leaned over and said, ‘That guy you were talking with, was ogling you for a long time before you sat down’.

Gulp.

 
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Posted by on April 5, 2012 in Rants

 

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The Addiction

26 Mar

All it took was one taste. One taste, and then I was hooked. A bit of me thinks that it’s alright to be addicted to it, but a large part of me feels so ashamed. Even still, I keep coming back, like it gives me new breath when ever I get the hit.

As I stand there in the mirror, all I can think to myself is, what a great feeling it is to have. Thinking that I’m in control, gives me the greatest feeling. To know that I have started it, and to think that I could stop it, in itself is enjoyable. Once I get a little urge, it’s very hard for me not to complete what I’ve set out to do.

I don’t know what it is, but when I see the pins go in and out, a little excitement, comes over me.

I love getting my clothes altered.

 
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Posted by on March 26, 2012 in Rants

 

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The Lost Post

21 Mar

I thought setting up a weblog would be a great idea, as opposed to setting up my own site and posting up blogs; I know it sounds like the same thing, but it isn’t. I used to code a basic site for my blog posts, and it would take some time when I wanted the post to look a certain way. These days I use WordPress, the blogger hoster, to post and manage my blog. This was to make posting easier. I even got an iPhone, so I could post on the fly.

But like all plans in my life, they don’t go accordingly. You would think that I would be posting more regularly, daily even. And I did that for a while. But most of late, I’ve been a bit slack. Even if there has been something that I’ve been meaning to post. Life has just been getting in the way. That or I’m a lazy prick. One way or the other, I’m not posting as much as I would like to.

Maybe it means that I’m getting happier with life. Being more content with it, that I don’t need to post rants and vents up. I would like to think that, that’s the case. But why is there this pitch darkness that consumes me at every corner?

 
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Posted by on March 21, 2012 in Rants

 

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The Over-Familiarity

08 Mar

There are points in a relationship where you think you know them. I mean you see little signs here and there where you discover something about them that you didn’t know before. But have you ever wondered, if it’s all an act. That what you see in someone, is something that’s consciously being drip fed, just so you have the feeling of development in the relationship?

Well I’m here to say that I’m on the other side. I’m the one drip feeding you my bullshit.

I think it’s funny sometimes that something I say, gets blown up. Like the little in joke, that no longer is an ‘in’ joke, and it becomes a running gag that everyone is in on. Most of the time I do or say something, because I know it will get a reaction. But it’s just an act. And for some reason, I’m surprised no one picks up on that fact.

People use these ‘acts’, and think that they know me. They think that they have me pegged, like I’m a 2 dimensional character, that doesn’t have any nuances or any room for development. They talk to me, and talk about me, like they know every facet of who I am, and what I’m all about. The fact of the matter is, they don’t.

I remember a high school friend that blew up at some one, because she said that she knew him, and he was acting out of character. I was on his side. He wasn’t acting out of character; the fact of the matter is that the girl that made that statement had no idea of him; I thought I was good friends with him, but I would have never gone as far as to say that I knew him, back to front, inside and out – I would never make a statement like that, only because that’s the biggest assumption that one could make.

It’s quite irritating when someone wants to over-familiarise your relationship with them. It’s like when the guy says to the girl that he loves her, but she was only looking for companionship. The overstretch is embarrassing.

 
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Posted by on March 8, 2012 in Rants

 

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The Distinction

21 Feb

I have always joked about the fact that people seem to see Asians as being all the same. I mean from one Asian to the next, there’s no difference. I always joked about it. But I’ve been called by the name of the only other Asian guy in the office around me. I mean, I will be talking to people, and they would acknowledge me with what they’re saying – they may reference something that I had said a few days back, but once they go to mention me by name, to my face, they call me the other guy.

I can understand that some people may look like someone else, like how Gary Busey somewhat looks like Nick Nolte or how Zooey Deschanel kind of looks like Katy Perry, but I have never gotten them mixed up. But why is it that Caucasians can’t seem to tell the difference between Asians; maybe I’m being far to generalist. I mean it didn’t happen before I started this new role, nor has it happened in my working career prior to this, but in the past two weeks, it has.

I wonder if it really is a race thing, and we all think that at least someone in one race, can look like another of the same race; it surely can’t be case of them mistaking one person for every other person of the same race, can it?

 
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Posted by on February 21, 2012 in Rants

 

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The Caricature

20 Feb

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been defending my behaviour saying that it’s not really me, that I’m a caricature of my true self. I may say something inappropriate, or something awkward, or something outrageous. Most of the time I don’t really mean it. I say things just to keep the conversation going, keeping it alive. I say things to get a reaction, because I know the reaction that I’m going to get, is going to give me a bit of a laugh. But that’s not really me. Is it?

It’s worked for me in the past, but I don’t know if that reasoning is applicable as time goes on. The more and more I act this way, the more and more I make lewd and crude comments, the more and more I become the caricature, rather that fronting as one. Sometimes I feel the need to act that way, and that’s how I am for the rest of the night.

It’s funny, it all started a while back, and it was just for laughs, but it feels like it’s a crutch these days, and without it, I can’t get around. In someways it feels like it’s a case of Batman and Bruce Wayne. Yes… indulge me for a second. In the beginning, it was a case of Bruce Wayne donning a mask to fight injustice, and bring down fear and retribution against those that do no good, in the guise of Batman. But as time goes on, it’s become Batman taking off the mask to act like a billionaire playboy in the guise of Bruce Wayne. At first it was an outlet, only now it has consumed.

What a sad state of affairs it’s become.

 
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Posted by on February 20, 2012 in Rants

 

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The Insincerity

14 Feb

Everytime I leave a job, I question whether or not I should leave a final email. If you’ve ever left a job, then you would know what I’m talking about. It’s the email that you write to everyone that’s still hanging around the workplace that you’re leaving, with a final farewell message, along with your details whether they be your phone number, or your personal email address.

When I left my most recent employer, I was quite certain that I was going to leave like the wind. The reasoning behind this is the fact that I think everyone comes and goes; sure we would like some to stay more than others, but in the end, we come and we go – nothing is permanent. I am just another cog in the machine, one that’s readily replaceable. So I was not going to leave an email, or my details to contact me.

But once I made this known, people were giving me grief. They were wanting me to leave my details so they could catch up with me in the future. So stupidly I wrote an email, and provided my details. It’s been four weeks since I wrote that…. and not one peep, other than from me.

Why does it always seem to go that people say they want to catch up with you, but they never end up doing so. Is it just something you say, because it’s just something you say? Like how you ask how someone is going, but you really don’t care how they’re going; it’s just something you say.

I haven’t received an email, or even a text to confirm my details, or even someone else giving me their details via those methods. Now don’t get me wrong, I really don’t care if I do or don’t keep in touch with most of these people. I’m more annoyed by the fact that I have gestured that I care, and now I have been effectively been slapped in the face.

This world is a game of who can care the less, and I’m currently losing, when really I should be the victor.

 
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Posted by on February 14, 2012 in Rants

 

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The Kanye West Concert

29 Jan

I totally forgot that I was going to this, until my friend, who bought me a ticket as a Christmas present, emailed me to remind me that it was on. I don’t know why I didn’t remember it because I’m a massive fan of Kanye West; yes including a good portion of the 808′s and Heartbreak album!

Kanye West

I’ve heard many outrageous stories of his diva behaviour on stage. Most lately I heard that he booted someone out of a concert, during the Watch The Throne tour in the states, because one of the concert goers threw up a business card, or something of the sort – supposedly it was a safety hazard.

Kanye West

Anyhow, lucky for me, I did get to see a glimpse of it. He is known for being a perfectionist, and it was a sight to see him, when he stopped a song to restart it, because the lighting wasn’t right. I know people think he’s a diva, and he probably is, but I think it’s adds to the concert going experience.

Kanye West

From the start of the concert, right up until the end, it was a grand spectacle. Ballerinas running across the stage, and around in circles, pyrotechnics and laser shows were seen throughout the concert, and it was a sight to see.

Kanye West

You could really tell that everyone was having a great time, and that Kanye was lapping and living up every minute of it. If you looked around at any time during the concert, you could see pretty much all of the seated crowd, standing. Like how the cliche saying goes, you just had to be there, to understand it.

Kanye West

The song selection was expansive, ranging from each album, save for the Jay-Z collaboration, Watch The Throne. Kanye even dropped songs that he featured in, but wasn’t the main artist. The one that really stood out for me, was American Boy, which was by Estelle, but he dropped his 16 bars, and I lost my shit. It was crazy, or as Kanye would say, “That Shit Cray!”. The crowd was into each song, from the empowering tune of Power, to the sombre-ridden Say You Will.

Kanye West

Kanye West, call him whatever you like, but there’s no denying that he isn’t one of the best entertainers alive today.

 
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Posted by on January 29, 2012 in Rants

 

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The Raw Nerve

18 Jan

I think that I’m good at taking jokes; I give them as much as I take them. Even in the most awkward situations, I seem to be able to make a joke about myself. Suffice to say, that I don’t take myself that seriously. There are things that get me worked up, but they’re generally related to my work, and what I can do; when it comes to me as a person, whether it is the way I talk, or the way I look, I generally am pretty easy going about it.

What’s funny is that not all people are the same.

There is this guy at work that I see every now and again. We trade banter, but it’s more him making inappropriate jokes where ever possible. I get in on that talk, because I can hold my own. Some people cringe when I make a comment, or do something quite uncharacteristic of me, but it’s good that I can get a laugh out of it.

We were having lunch today, and the same old routine was being played out; he was making inappropriate jokes, and I was playing along with it all. Then he started having a go that I know kung fu, because apparently to all Caucasians, Asians know kung fu. Now I don’t get offended by it, because I have heard it many times before, so I play it up. The next thing I know, he moves onto jibing me with homoerotic comments, and suggestions about my sexuality. Again, I play along with it, because I’ve been dealt these cards so many times, I know how to play the game. I must admit, I cop a lot of shit from this guy, but it’s like water off of my back.

Next thing I know the topics of cycling come up in the conversation, and I was having a go at cyclists – not because I don’t like cyclists, but for the fact that I know that this guy is one. Next thing I know, he closed up real fast, and then the racial epithets about Asians come flying thick and fast, saying I have a small package, and all the usual jazz. And this was with a serious face, and tone.

Suffice to say that I shut up about the cycling. It’s funny; to think that I guy can be so offensive towards you, but can’t take any of it back. Smeagol would be proud! My Precious!

I don’t know who’s worse, him because he’s a massive bigot / hypocrite / sulk, or me because I let him off with everything that he says to me.

 
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Posted by on January 18, 2012 in Rants

 

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The Stand Off

17 Jan

I’m not the biggest fan of catching the bus. I don’t mind it if I’m going at a leisurely pace to somewhere that I don’t have to be in a hurry, but when it comes to me catching a bus to go somewhere where I need to show up at a specific time, like getting into work, then I get a bit antsy.

For the past two or so weeks, I have been catching a bus from my usual train station, to the adjacent one, because CityRail decided to conduct track work, over the supposed quite period of the year. I’m sure someone’s doing something, I mean why else would they shut down a block of the track line for no reason, but for the life of me I can’t see anything that would suggest work is being done.

Some days I’m lucky and I can rock up to the bus depot and manage to jag a seat on the bus, which is surprising because I’m at the last stop before the trains start working again, so by the time the bus does stop, it’s generally packed. Some days I have to wait for a bus or two to drive past because it literally is packed like a can of sardines. Today though, I managed to get on the bus – albeit I had to stand.

I don’t mind standing. What I do mind though is when the bus pulls up to the destination, and as I proceed to alight from the bus, someone who has been sitting down for who knows how long, think it’s okay to get up from their seat and push in front of me to alight before I do. What makes matters worse was the fact that not only did he push in front, but he held me up, because he was letting his girlfriend get out as well.

The freakin audacity!

I muttered to myself, but loud enough for him and those around me to hear, “Yeah, you have to let your girlfriend out too…”, without thinking of the ramifications of such a blatant remark. Most rational people avoid conflict, if they know they’re in the wrong; lucky for me, he complied to this assumption.

I know that there’s no handbook of bus behaviour, but come on, seriously. It’s an unwritten rule that standing patrons have right of way before seating patrons.

Sheesh, I think I’m getting too old, and am becoming an old grumpy man.

 
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Posted by on January 17, 2012 in Rants

 

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